Tag Teenage problems

No infidelity in love

Love Heartsby Zoha Khalid
Islamabad, Pakistan

Definition of love changes with the thinking perspectives of people, but the love does not. The concept of love varies from person to person but the feeling does not. What is love actually? Do we know what does it mean? As for me, love is me. I am the love and the person related to me is my love.

It is not an eternal feeling, it is just a feeling – the voice of heart. As there is no infidelity in God, so as in love there is no infidelity either. We love God as we all know that only he is ours, only he listens to us and only he provides us the happiness we want. Just think if we take someone equal to God, what will happen? We’ll be destroyed as erupted volcanoes, disturbed as a flood, and we’ll be falling down as a shooting star which has no destiny. As I have faith in God, I have faith in my love and I believe in that and as long as I believe in tha, l will not be down ever.

My love is with my father as well – I love him and I have a faith in him that as long as my father is with me, no one on earth can harm me. He is my pride. He is like a king to me. I am his princess and his love is like a castle to me. He is a sea and I am a mermaid who is nothing without a sea. My father is my love of life and he is everything to me and as long as I just rely on my father and do not confuse his status with anyone else, I will be successful in life. This is what love means to me.
My love is with my mother – I love her. She is like a blanket in the winter’s cold. She is like a shade of a tree to me, my paradise – for which I do not have to struggle to get it. It’s just mine. She is like a melody without which my song is incomplete. She is my world and she is the love of my life. And if I count some other person to her place in my life then it’ll be cruel to me and my mother.

My love is with my special one, who teaches me if I love someone else than him this way then he will never accept it. He says that I only belong to him and he belongs to me. He teaches me that as there is no infidelity in God, then its also not in love. These words whisper in my ears and I don’t feel alone as he claims his authority in me. I like the way he scolds me on my stupid deeds. True love does not mean that we start doing wrong things to get it. Your true lover never persuades you to do anything wrong for him even if doing the good things make you apart. He does not think for himself or for us, he just wants me to be happy. He does not want to set dreams in my heart for the future. He wants to fulfill my present dreams that I see. He teaches me whether he is with me or not, I have to be happy and good because he believes that whether he is with me or not in person, his shadow is with me all the time. I think about him every single second of my life and I believe he will always be there for me.

Whenever I am in trouble, I just remind myself of the loves of my life. First, the God, then my father, then my mother, and last but not the least, my angel. Without these people, I won’t be able to survive. It’s a message to all the youth from my side that love isn’t just having a good time, we have to give a lot in that without expecting anything back. And as I have mentioned earlier, “as there is no infidelity in God, there must be no infidelity in love either”.

The downfall

Sad girl

How a teenager’s life got ruined because of generation & communication gap

by Zoha Khalid
Islamabad, Pakistan

Sometimes we and our elders think that the major cause of a teenager’s downfall is negligence towards studies and they doubt that their children are involved in some bad habits and activities. But the elders didn’t notice or try to find out what exactly is their problem and the children in their shyness or because of fear do not tell or make their parents understand their real problems. Here is a true story of downfall of a girl in her life.

There was a girl who was a bright and successful student till she got the real jerks in her life. When she was in 10th grade, she became friends with a guy. It was a real and sincere friendship like one could never even here but the mistake these both made was that they hid that friendship from their parents. After 10 months of friendship, the girl’s parents came to know about her friendship and got very angry. The girl tried a lot to make them understand that there isn’t anything wrong between them but the parents were not willing to listen. They called the boy to their house and insulted him, and the boy just listened to them because he didn’t want to misbehave with them. He was from a really good family and he was not taught to misbehave with the elders. Then he went back his home.

The girl’s parents didn’t understand how to handle this situation and they made their daughter grounded for some days telling her that the guy was just playing game with her thats why he never contacted back but the reality was that the girl’s parents threatened the boy and his family even though the boy was innocent. All this passed away but the result of that was horrible, the girl in revenge against the boy and her parents became evil and left all the good deeds she had before. Earlier, she used to be an honest and friendly girl but afterwards she transformed herself into a girl without emotions. She made many male friends that she can talk with and make fun with. She also made herself mentally and physically tortured because of her depression.

Now that girl is a failure in her life, she faced downfall in every aspect of her life. This was only because her parents think that friends are not essential for one’s life. Thy might think like this because they both themselves didn’t get good friends ion their lives so they think that their daughter too should not make friends. Its not like they were wrong but they were not able to understand their daughter and they could not handle the situation properly. They did not have the time to listen to their daughter and solve her problems in a humble manner. The last words from the girl I interviewed were “Life is really painful!”.

An emotional journey from school to high school

School Busby Fatima Hasan Zaidi
Rawalpindi, Pakistan

Days pass by, time run and the wheel of life takes the turn. Life is a book consisting of various chapters, good as well as bad. Right now I am at a stage where the chapter “secondary school” is ended. The chapter just closed tells the story of 2 best years of my life filled with laughter, happiness, murkiness, crazy moments, blunders, friendships and playing tricks on teachers.

This is a transitioning period from secondary school to high school (typically referred as college in Pakistan) life. This probably is the biggest evolution I have to face. Entering high school means my life is going to take a 360 degree turn. There is a weird feeling because I can clearly remember my first day in school when I was not leaving my mother to sit alone and the teacher played me as a fool by saying there is a zoo in school.

I never thought that I would say that I miss “Silver oaks” – my school. There was a time I used to say I hate my school but now when it is over I miss it like hell. I never realized that how good the place was , how attached I was to it , how my class fellows and teachers took care of me whenever I got ill . But now I readily do. It is a period of life all take for granted when they are living it.

Silver Oaks has given me the most comfortable school environment one can ever ask for and it’s just because of our lovely senior mistress Ma’m Rizwana Zahid. Silver Oaks was awesome to say at least. Eid parties, dance by Ameer Humza, school trips, breaking rules, hiding copies and bags, open book tests, hiding from teachers, throwing bottles from bottom to the top of the class and the farewell party. No words can express the amount of fun I had during my high school years.

And I not only miss the fun I had at Silver Oaks but I miss my social studies classes, computer assignments, Physics lectures in which I used to fall asleep and most of all I miss my Urdu classes. I miss our small muddy lawn where we used to sit at break time and talk all nonsense. I miss my all class fellows who can make up anyone burst up into laughter, those petty class fights, making fun of new demo teachers and providing teachers with strange names. Till now we were worried about the nerve cracking tests and horrifying math questions but our school protected us from cruelties of life now the day has arrived we just get to know that our secondary school is over we are about to head to high school.

It is said that we have been ready for high school but we are not. That time has gone to never return and not we have to make hard decisions first of which is going to which high school then which subjects to choose. How can I do so because I am not ready to open a new chapter of my book “life”? But now as the truth is “secondary school” has gone. We will have new circle of friends.

School is a word that we despise when we are attending it. The nerve cracking social studies questions, never ending exams and what not. How we’ll get done with school as soon as possible and go out to face the real world? Don’t we? But as time comes closer to the final goodbyes to secondary school, we start loving it and just want time to stop. If I start penning down all about my school it will never come to end as we did last bench chatting, cheating tests, writing on chair handles, passing notes and getting kicked out from the class and breaking of window glass.

No matter how much I try to run from the fact “high school”. I have to move on. Now I have to apprehend that era of stupid jokes, loud laughter, clapping with open hands, cartoonish voices, and sweet photographs are ended. And I have to head ahead in life and start up with high school. It is just the starting of another chapter of life. And making it more graceful while we do that hope my high school friends will reach to the glories of life and will always stay in touch.

Am I the only one?

Questionsby Aamir Khan
Karachi, Pakistan

The other day I was walking down the side walk and suddenly found my country’s flag glued to my feet. I leaned and unglued it. When I got up, I saw a sea of people. Some rushing home to their wives, some sitting and gossiping, some doing nothing, and then I asked myself am I the only one seeing this flag flying around the road.

I wonder is there something even close like love. All I hear or listen to over my dinner is my friend babbling about his sad love story, and I can’t even make anything out of it. Well, maybe there is or maybe there isn’t anything like it but seriously my friend needs to get a grip and not discuss this over dinner.

When I went to a shoe shop the other day, after a long tiring search, my eyes were fixed on something which I thought was perfect. On asking the salesman if size 43 is available a sorry and dull shake of the head was presented to me. How many people would have size 43? I always thought I was a big foot, or maybe my friend put this in my mind.

Why are there lizards in my room? I hate lizards. Why is it that whenever I enter my room there is a big mama lizard taunting me of her presence and then slowly slithers her way out of the window. Helplessly, I could only stare her back.

Why do all single friends of mine think I can solve their problems? Although I make a very ugly and boring face but somehow they walk pass it and end up telling me their odd stories. All I can manage after an hour session is “everything is going to be okay” and that somehow is enough, enough for them to snap out of it and walk out, leaving me rather confused and sleepy.

Why do we eat food, like the normal food we eat? We could be born as a civilization that eats paper, or sand, or wood or anything for that matter but who will eat the normal food then? Insects birds or maybe the mama lizard in my room?

Why is there a race to be the richest or the most accomplished man? Why can’t we be just ourselves? and why don’t we do stuff that really makes us happy, not because there is a better future in it. Where did the value for happiness go? I once heard this “whatever you do, do it with sincerity and it doesn’t matter what you do” most probably my grandfather told me this, and my grandmother used to snub him not to teach me to be an “outlaw”.

Why are we not allowed to wear shorts in our collage? Nobody notices what we wear, or do they? We come to learn right. Why don’t girls stalk us rather than we boys finding excuses to talk to them or maybe every looser thinks the way I do. Welcome to lala land.

Why don’t the things in movies happen for real? They get our hopes high everytime we come out of the theatre. Why can’t I fly? Why can’t everyone fly for that matter? Think of the pollution which is not caused. Reach our designated places in the wink of an eye. Just zoom and zoom back. Imagine the amount of time saved.
Are vampires and werewolves for real? How does a bug get into the light bulb? Why don’t we run instead of walking and walk instead of running?

“Everything has been figured out, except how to live” said William Wallace. Am I the only one dumb enough to think all this or am I some kind of a genius remains a mystery.

It’s just not love!

Loveby Jehanzeb Khan

I was born back in the days when people believed in ‘Love at first sight’, ‘The one’, and “Hey! I like you and I wanna marry you’, back in the time when the mere definition of infatuation was not cloaked by the aspects of love. They used to say, “You either fall in love once, or you’ve just lived long enough to find a way to deny it.” This was when an ardent look in the eye at your lover fulfilled the most whimsical of desires one could conceive of. The entire notion of love was a mystical mystery to the meat suit; an inexplicable emotion of care for someone beyond what the bounds of nature could limit. It were those days when every heartbeat of a lover, throbbed to pray for their love to have the eternal bliss, in a barter for their entire world. Love would beguile the influenced to the brink where the wrong felt right, insomnia was passion, crazy was coddling, thank you was sweet, possessiveness meant care, crying seemed normal, fights were justifiable, and much much more. To sum it up, love was a unique dimension; something that wasn’t out in the air for just anyone to sniff, but for the stout-hearted that knew no fear of succumbing to the most precious and valuable of assets.

Synonymous was the ambiance to a 70’s boys’ love tale, a mortal one. He puts it today and i narrate: “To be in a loop with my lover, where we lived through our eyes, our sentiments, what’s rambled above, was a relish. To this day, I wouldn’t barter the experience, the exhilaration, the promises, the secrets, for any wonder of the world. The sound of her speaking was like music to my ears and it left me breathless. The queer sensation of standing besides her, in a crowd, would move me. The best part is, is I would never want to re-live any of it. I’d always keep the sanctity of ‘the one time it happened’. The reminiscent memories to this fragment of my life are just fulfilling enough to not leave me inclined to another girl in my surrounding.”

So what’s love today? A mask to the sexual desperation? A game for the youngsters to play? Or a shallow action to exploit the feelings of one? All of this collected, makes up for the word ‘love’. The expressions that the poets used to put in their venturous love stories, are now replaced with disreputing phrases like ‘Play hard to get’, ‘First base’ and ‘Hook up, Break up, Patch up’. Today, i see young people falling in love every other day. Moreover, infatuation is the new love. These days it’s just like a sport to everyone. As pathetic as it sounds, texting on the phone, endless lame phone calls and chatting on the Internet to the point where there is nothing left to say, is the contemporary channel to express your feelings. Everything between the two sexes is just so programmed and monotonous. It’s all about mind games. If you’ve got a decent IQ and have a way with words, you can score a girl sitting in front of a screen. I mean come on, where did the facial charm and the mesmerizing thought conveying without uttering a word go? It’s like 2 days of intermittent chat and you’re drooling all over your girl, and the next day you take the gloves off on a lousy issue. Bam! We broke up. A week later, after you’ve been on the market with no alternate, you get back with her. This is the patch up.

Coming honest to whom you love and being truthful of what you say is just an old-fashioned custom. Being a plastic in the society and keeping up a poker face is viewed as a quality in the ritual of multiple relationships. Cheating on your girlfriend or a spouse, is considered a playful art. You just have to be sleek enough to memorize a few standard lines, invest on extravagant gifts, and delude the others with them. With a tad bit planning, it all works like magic.

A rendezvous with a random girl, have a coffee along with a few gossip sessions is all it takes to go bonkers over a girl. The marvels of having the blessing to love someone is lost into bewilderment. Whatever this may be, It’s just not love.

Teenage popularity: a menace in disguise?

Red Carpetby Javaria Atiya Waheed

Justin Bieber is the new 16-year-old sensation, who has taken the world by surprise. Not just amongst pre-teens, Bieber’s songs are gaining equal popularity amongst the adults too and his album sales, even at this very early stage has broken records of artists like New Kids on the Block and N’sync. Sounds amazing doesn’t it?

Such a young child, and already at the zeniths of the world, entirely on the basis of his talent. But is it as amazing as it looks? Popularity at such a young age?

Ask yourself, does Justin live his life as a normal sixteen-year-old child in the world does? Does he go to high school, think about college, and fall into troubles? No, children like Bieber do not have a customary life at all. Every corner of the world has young artists like Bieber characterizing it: whether Dakota Fanning, or Abigail Breslin, Syed Fazal Hussain or Miley Cyrus, all these children may be very popular but this popularity does have its consequences. A rosy picture is very easily painted on the outside, but on the inside, the picture is not so rosy after all. Narcissism, anorexia, anxiety disorders, early pregnancy, drug abuse, and smoking—-these are just examples of what these children fall into. “Childhood” disappears from the lives of these “celebrity” kids and their recognition gets consequences attached to it. Dire consequences.

An average 16-year-old child would be enrolled in full-time education at any high school and be concentrating on that alone: for Bieber, he receives his education on the road. Moreover, Bieber isn’t an exception.
Emma Roberts, the 19-year-old niece of Julia Roberts, is reported to have said in a 2007 interview regarding her education that: “Oh yes, I have a tutor and we have three hours of school every day. That way I am caught up on my work and then when I am not doing school work I am shooting something or other.” Roberts had shown interest in attending two colleges in New York: Sarah Lawrence College and New York University. Well. That was back in 2007, and now 3 years later, Roberts is not attending any of the colleges stated above.

Bieber and Roberts are still in their teens, but Abigail Breslin, the 13-year-old star from Little Miss Sunshine, also receives her education on the road. And the list does not end here. Jamie Lynn Spears, the 19-year-old sister of Britney Spears completed her high school education via online correspondence since she was so busy with her shoots. Miley Cyrus is still tutored by a private tutor on sets, and the Olsen Twins, completed most of their education through home schooling and when they did attend the New York university in 2004, both of them left a couple of months later, to carry on with full-time “individualized” work. In this race for popularity, these “celebrities” totally neglect their educational requirements, the closest they come to going to a school or college is always on some shoot. Like normal children, these children never have regular high-school “buddies” and they never have to go through the nervousness of SAT scores or finals like we do. On the outside, it seems that this is wonderful but practically, the psychological requirements of these children are not being fulfilled. They are socially deprived and since their social circle is the media, it is no surprise that they are the first ones to end up in clutches of drug abuse etc. It is no surprise that they are the first ones to end up in rehabilitation centres too.

The immediate social circle, which these children have, is the media. For decades, the detrimental effect, media has on children, through television has been vastly debated. What effect, then, does this very media have on the children, who are working within it?

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are twins who have been working ever since they were six months old. Now 24, these girls, have made it to the Forbes list of influential people, but with strings attached.
In 2004, Mary-Kate Olsen, at the age of 18, checked into rehab at Utah for suffering from eating disorder and potential drug abuse. This is just one example. When 17-year-olds like Taylor Momsen, work in PG-15 shows like Gossip Girl, being a regular drinker and a habitual addict of drugs, would be far from surprising. Recently in an interview, Ed Westwick, who plays her co-star “Chuck Bass” on the show said: “I was looking at some pictures from the show, and the girl from the first season and the girl now, are two different people”. Momsen is one case. By the time she was 16; Jamie Lynn Spears had already moved out of her house and living with her boyfriend, following an unexpected pregnancy. At the age of 19 now, Spears is already a single mother.
What is more is that, Miley Cyrus, the 18-year-old “good girl” of Disney, has already been involved in a photo scandal with “Vanity Fair” and recently has outraged parents for “wearing less than what some people might wear for a day at the beach”. And if we research a little more, the list might even turn out to be infinite. Celebrity children may be admired a lot, but being exposed to media at such a young age, not only takes their life away but also exposes them to things like drugs, alcohol and sex at an earlier age than normal kids. Jamie Lynn’s pregnancy and Miley Cyrus’s risqué outfits can only be described in terms of a very precocious approach to life, an approach which comes as a perk of being a part of this media. Agreed, that in the 21st century, every teenager falls into the pit of these bad habits at some stage in life, but being a part of a normal high-school and a regular household means that they do have guidance to show them the right path, in the form of friends and parents. That is exactly what these celebrities are deprived of. The possibility of them having “guiding” friends is minimal and as for their parents, these children might just be money making machines, so why prevent them in any way?

According to the parents of these celebrities, such as Billy Ray Cyrus, their kids are a part of this media, because this is what “they were born to do”. Okay, yes they do have a natural, inborn talent for some things which may be directly related to the media, but does that mean, push them into it, from the tender age of 8? Wouldn’t it be rather feasible that they live life as normally as possible and when they are old enough, they exploit their talents to the fullest? That won’t be injurious at all. Neglecting their studies, their “normal” life and pushing them into this whirlpool of media: now that certainly is harmful.
Syed Fazal Hussain, the child who worked in Mehreen Jabbar’s movie “Ramchand Pakistani” was just 8 when he used to go for these shoots. His father argues that he was always with him, spending day and night on these sets. But being on a set all the way on Thar Desert, must have led to some lack of normalcy, one way or the other. Now Hussain can be regularly seen on television, working as part of some soap or the other. The 9-year-old child is now a consistent actor, and instead of regular schooling, he is regularly acting. All he is taking home to his parents is money. From where I stand, all these parents see in this celebrity image of their children is the money and the popularity. What else can there to be it? They obviously fail to see, that their child is being kept away form a healthy life, that their child is falling into a trap which may not harm him right away but will surely, dent him at some point in life.
Recently, I got the chance to closely interact with some of Pakistan’s most famous VJ’s. And upon asking when they joined the television network, the answer I got was as soon as they completed their O-levels: that is at the age of 16. Now these same VJ’s are regular chain smokers and regular drug users. And the females in this category are no exception. Yes, shocked as I was, this was the bitter truth. Now, these people are not “part-time” workers but they are “part-time students”. The only future they have is this media, surrounded by this blinding smoke and only if the parents would have ignored the material gains for a minute and looked at the overall losses, they might have stopped this up.

While, on one side there are parents who exploit the talents of their children and ignore the consequences, on the other side, there are “celebrity” parents, who become the backbone of their child’s career and are exploited by their children instead. In their work, they not only tend to ignore the needs of their children, instead, the only means by which they actually look after them, is that they make them a part of that very media. Jaden Smith, son of Will Smith, is one example of such a child: Jaden appeared in The Pursuit of Happyness alongside his father in 2006 at the age of 8 and has been a part of media ever since. Now, he is a rap musician too and is singing songs alongside Justin Bieber. He is home schooled and his only moral fiber is his father. Such children, with time, not only have to face the menace of media but soon they also become entirely reliant on their parents. Their key to success remains to be their parents and not their own talents. These people fail to have an identity of their own: an identity which other children easily develop.

Not just this, a recent newspaper report, described Justin Bieber, as a narcissist, as quoted by his fellow singer for “Eenie Meenie”, Sean Kingston. Kingston revealed that while working on the song with Bieber, he discovered that Bieber liked to search himself on You Tube and Google and read the comments people had about him, on set. Well, that is one other corollary of getting into media so young. Being in their teenage years, the tendency to grow more arrogant, haughty and narcissistic is much greater, than if they are adults. Only Justin Beiber’s case came into light with the media, but that doesn’t mean he is the only narcissistic fellow present there. Almost all of these young stars can be easily characterized under this category: and who can blame them either? This is the age when their socialization process should still be going on within a school, at its secondary stage, where they can be held on an equal footing with other children. But then again, they are deprived of this and for this reason; they develop self-pride which is greater than the rest, self-pride which can have dire consequences later on.

Where people like Emma Watson do form an exception to the general rule the majority fails to do so. The bulk of these children don’t believe in pursuing a higher quality education like Watson-in fact, they drop out like the Olsen twins, in the first few months only. They give status and reputation an upper hand to education and therefore, inevitably get involved in the world of drugs, booze and sex. Yes, parents should never jab the talents their children possess but before getting them involved in this world of media, they should weigh the material gains against the moral losses too. It doesn’t take time at all for this popularity to turn to ashes, and keeping this in mind, the future possessions should be regarded. Develop your child’s talents to the fullest, but do not exploit them for all the off beam reasons. Media is certainly not as risk-free as it looks and keeping these teens away from this kind of life, at a young age should be the priority. Maybe, getting involved in media after their teenage years, will also give these people a valuable insight into what life really is all about: about how the world is not what it looks like and how your judgment is the most imperative for your well-being at the end of the day. But until, they reach this stage, they need guidance. Guidance which is mandatory, so as to tell them of ways to keep this disguised menace away.


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